• Jake Gyllenhaal just split up with Reese Witherspoon. Has he already moved on with Anne Hathaway? That's what the National Enquirer is suggesting. So it could be true, but it could also be totally made up. [ShowbizSpy]
• In other Anne Hathaway news, it turns out the guy who crashed his bike into the car she was sitting in earlier this week was a paparazzo. [AP]
• Demi Moore posted a pic of herself to Twitter—it was an outtake from a recent Harper's Bazaar photo shoot—and fellow Twitter users unleashed their wrath, suggesting the photos had been Photoshopped and telling her she looked old. "I'm 47. How am I supposed to look?" she responded. This actually makes us feel a bit bad for Demi, which isn't something that happens very often. [Us]
• "Snooki" (Nicole Polizzi) from MTV's Jersey Shore has been fired from her receptionist job for taking time off to go to LA to promote the show. (She's not too broken up about it. She got to hang out with Kristin Cavallari while she was there, so it was totally worth it.) In other Snooki news, the guy who punched her in the face on the show, a scene MTV censored, says he's sorry. [NYDN, Us]

On Sunday, we told you that MTV had decided not to air the footage of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi being punched in the face on tonight's episode of Jersey Shore, and speculated as to its motives. Here's what MTV did show.

We were promised an attack, people. And what happens? MTV is too chicken to air it. Oh well, we can still salvage this night by having a blast talking about the trashiest show filmed outside of a landfill.

• A week after a restaurant opened at the Guggenheim Museum and now Robert, a new eatery at the Museum of Arts & Design, has opened. [GS, NYT]
• Maialino begins breakfast service tomorrow, a first for Danny Meyer. [TONY]
• Aspen on West 22nd has been temporarily closed over tax issues. [Eater]
• A judge has ordered the Chelsea club Duvet to close immediately. [NYP]
• The city's plan to require that restaurants post inspection letter grades—which LA has done for years—is one step closer to becoming law. [NYT]
• Three Russian Tea Room chefs have hit the restaurant with a lawsuit. [NYP]
• Another annual "best of" list, if you're in the mood. [Metromix]
• Snooki from MTV's Jersey Shore now has her own taco. [HL via Eater]

Queens gym teacher Brad Ferro is so sorry sorry he punched Jersey Shore's Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi in the face on camera and we should forgive him. Why? Because he was so drunk he doesn't remember doing it! Classy.

On tonight's episode of The Jay Leno Show, Snooki, The Situation and Pauly D continued their week-long domination of American television by facing off in a "Battle of the Jersey Shore All Stars" segment. And, yes—they were horrible.

We are not buying for a second that a living human can be as dumb as Snooki was on Leno tonight. Granted, the other two Jersey Shore cast members were dumb, too. But Snooki won the stupid day.

Today at Gawker.TV, the cast of Jersey Shore sullies the story of the First Christmas by reenacting it themselves, Jason Segel's puppet-centric Rock Opera, MTV's Teen Mom, and a bastardized new version of Let's Make a Deal.

Sure, reality TV has been around longer, but starting in 2000, it really hit the big time. Everyone professes to hate it, but this cheap, tawdry programming has become an easy staple, and it's changing every minute.

The Jersey Shore continues its assault on the California Coast with an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel. Pauly-D, The Situation, and Snooki play the three wise men—the only difference: Two of these wise men have rock-hard abs.

• A "bone-thin" Elin Nordegren moved a big bunch of belongings out of the Florida mansion she shares (shared?) with Tiger Woods yesterday; she's supposedly headed "somewhere warm" for Christmas. As for Tiger, it seems he's going to spend Christmas with "the boys." Maybe Rachel Uchitel will stop by for a visit? According to tabloid reports, Tiger is still in contact with Mistress No. 1, and is hoping to squeeze a little time to get together. [NYP, NYDN, People, Us]
• Lindsay Lohan may have to put off any more trips to rescue exploited children living in Third World countries. A judge has ordered her to start attending her alcohol education program classes "every single week" because, well, "it's been long enough." [Us]
• Why did Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson break up? According to a highly dubious story that one of the slugger's pals has been telling the tabloids, it was because Hudson wanted to be on camera when she sat in the stands at Yankee Stadium, whereas A-Rod really wanted someone "more interested in building a long-term relationship than just building their profile." [Us]
• As for Hudson, she's dealing with the split from A-Rod by spending some quality time with her movie star parents, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Goldie turned up as Kate's date to the Nine premiere last night. [HL, DM]

Just moments ago, Jersey Shore stars Snooki and The Situation visited Conan O'Brien on The Tonight Show, and it was magical. Nicknames, hair tips, Snooki's desire for a steroid user, The Situation's rap offer and more, after the jump!

[Jersey Shore star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi carries a monogrammed purse (that doesn't match her outfit) emblazoned with the mysterious letter J while walking the Los Angeles streets with DJ Paulie Directions on Saturday night. Image via X17]

• Remember last week when Lindsay Lohan announced that she'd "saved" a bunch of kids in India from becoming victims of child trafficking? Yea, well, it seems she wasn't even in the country yet when that happened, at least according to according to a leading social activist in New Delhi, who has since filed a complaint with the BBC, which was filming Lohan's efforts for a documentary. In any event, LiLo must be totally, like, spent from saving the world: She returned to the U.S over the weekend after spending less than a week there. [Telegraph, People]
• In other LiLo news, the Lohan family website is now selling some of her secondhand clothes. If you'd like to buy Lindsay's hideous wardrobe from back in her Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen days, you're in luck. [P6]
• The New York Post has added an esteemed new columnist to its roster! Ashley Dupre is the paper's new love, sex, and relationship columnist. In her first column, Dupre answers questions about a rebellious teen, how to tell if one's husband is unhappy, whether or not to share your "number," and also offers up some Christmas gift ideas. There's even a video to go with it in which Dupre is dressed up like a naughty schoolgirl. [NYP]

MTV drummed up publicity for Jersey Shore by promising controversial footage of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi being punched. Now that it has everyone's attention, MTV is backing out, pulling the footage and trying to erase it from the Internet. Good luck!

The Jersey Shore crew's in Hollywood this week. The nu-celebrity's true trial—what kind of paparazzi coverage is devoted to them, and how they react to it—is here. Behold, The Harvey Levin Litmus Test: passed with flying colors.

Even all of your favorite bloggers have taken sweet, sweet Sulzberger severance deals and will no longer be working after 6pm today. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was skulking around looking for something to do. She had quite the week!

Hey guys, we did it! The ratings for Jersey Shore's second episode went up 50% to 2.1 million. That's on par with this season's The Hills premiere. When do we get our season two renewal? Pretty, pretty please!

• Olana on lower Madison Avenue is the latest restaurant to go bust. [Crain's]
• The UES fixture Gino's is still open, it may not be for much longer. [NYT]
• Café Habana's lawyer fired back today at the four ex-employees suing the restaurant. But now two other former servers are voicing similar complaints.
• Your dreams have been answered: The new Chelsea club Amnesia, which opened its doors last night, is "a little bit of Jersey Shore in Manhattan." [GS]
• Rao's is impossible to get into. It's also overrated, just as you suspected.
• Gordon Ramsay's restaurant empire almost went under this year. Now he says he plans to focus more on TV than food in the future. [Bloomberg]
• The State Liquor Authority is dealing with another bribery case. [NYP]
• How much goes Kim Kardashian get to appear at a club? $40K. [Eater]

More than hair gel, fake tans, being "classy," or clothes with holes ripped in them, the most important thing to the young men and women of Seaside Heights, New Jersey, is hooking up. Here is how it all goes down.