Jessica Simpson used a really cheesy pun on her website to announce what the world has known for a long time now: She's pregnant. Dressed as an ancient Egyptian sarcophagus dweller, she said, "That's right, I'm going to be a mummy." Groan.

After 72 days of matrimony, Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from poorly cast husband Kris Humphries. TMZ already has the divorce papers, and posted them here. The newlyweds are seeking a traditional divorce due to "irreconcilable differences."

On her first two days of community service at the L.A. County Morgue, Lindsay Lohan was late, alienated morgue authorities with extravagant food orders, and carried $4,000 worth of designer purses. But her most recent day at the morgue was more successful! Our favorite legally-challenged ingenue is finally getting the hang of it, and is even—dare we say?—popular at the morgue. How does she make it work?

Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. Here are some of our favorite shots from the past week.

The celebrities have begun trickling out of their castles, mansions, and forest lairs to host or hit up Halloween parties, collect their high-calorie holiday booty, and inspire jealousy-driven shut-ins like us to mock their outfits.

First Ashton Kutcher, then Leonardo DiCaprio, and now Bar Refaeli. The Israeli supermodel is helping to complete the tech industry's co-optation by pretty people now that she's taken a stake in an Israeli underwear e-tailer.

Australian director Baz Luhrman, who never met a quick cut, flashing light, or Botox-deadened Nicole Kidman forehead he didn't like, started filming his adaptation of The Great Gatsby in September. But what is it going to look like?

Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. Here are some of our favorite shots from the past week.

Why did Kris Humphries ditch his wedding ring to carry moving boxes? Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and Kingston Rossdale might be in love. Dina Lohan is shopping a memoir. Kanye's Occupy Wall Street outfit was worth more than $30,000. TGIFriday gossip.

The second worst part of flying (after having to take your shoes off at security) is that everyone dresses like slobs. Not Vogue scarecrow-in-chief Anna Wintour. She changed twice for a six-hour flight from New York to L.A. yesterday and even got special treatment at the airport.

Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. Here are some of our favorite shots from the past week.

Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. Here are some of our favorite shots from the past week.

In a sleepy Austrian hamlet today, a hulking superhuman lovingly caressed the buttock of a grotesquely muscled 8-foot-tall bronze state of himself.

Breaking break-up news! Blake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio confirm that, after five months of heavily photographed Monte Carlo yacht parties and romantic strolls in Venice, they have split. So long, Bleo. You never even walked a red carpet together, Blardo. [Us, image via Bauer-Griffin]

Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. Here are some of our favorite shots from the past week.

Behold, a play date that will make a thousand social-climbing mommies seethe with envy: Angelina Jolie brought her brood to Gwen Stefani's London home today, for a play date and dinner. Looks like Kingston and Shiloh got into one of their moms' makeup kits?

Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. Here are some of our favorite shots from the past week.

Royal horror: Pippa Middle got into an upskirt photo situation at London Fashion Week. Now, the simplest way to avoid an upskirt photograph is to wear longer skirts or pants. (Or live in a world with civility. Hah! Right.) Unfortunately, starlets live in a world where the skirts are short, the cars are fancy and difficult to climb out of, and cameras are everywhere. Consequently, starlets' vaginas are in perpetual peril. How do they deal with this? Now presenting the Seven Highly Effective Habits of Starlets With Cameras Pointed Up Their Skirts.

Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. Here are some of our favorite shots from the past week.

Last week, American screen treasure (and by treasure I mean costar in Lethal Weapon movies) Danny Glover was feted by the Deauville Film Festival in France. Good for him! What totally sucks is his attire. He wore those awful toe shoes on the red carpet!