Today we have a model dissed for her cultish religions, a gallant actor who cleaned up his lady friend's puke, and a reality star who has time has just about come to an end.
Today we have a rockstar with fucked up eyeballs, our drugged out actress from yesterday who is also hooking for powder, and an actor jealous of his successful wife.
Today we have an actor who has his pot smuggled in, a coked out star doing dangerous diving tricks, a coked out actress who was almost caught in Cannes, and a sad baby lady.
Today we have a blind item bonanza, with stories about Pakistani political officials, cheating TV stars, drugged out actors, and a very fertile guest star.
Today we have a young starlet doing cocaine (surprise!), a little blind item triptych about two actors and a former beauty queen, and a TV star with deep dark secret.
Today we have a nasty old actor who's been having 'em young, a drugged out actor who peed on everything, and a secret West Hollywood sex tape that's really raunchy.
Today we have a Correspondents Dinner hook up, an actor who's embarrassed about being short, and a big couple that's breaking up their business arrangement.
Today we have a big-breastuhted lady who is given cocaine by charities, some foul-mouthed drama on the set of a drama, and an actress who couldn't turn her baby into cash.
Today we have a cheating TV actor at the Correspondents Dinner, a celebrity caught getting ahead in his dressing room, and an actress who likes to steal flower centerpieces from restaurants.
Or, which reality star actually has $50,000 in cash? Nevermind, today, there's also a model whose husband wants to porn up their sex life and acting rivals who consider plastic surgery a competitive sport.
Today in tawdry: A stank film director, a famous actor with huge lifts in his shoes, and a nice actress who loves kittens and babies. Outrageous!
Today in human frailty: an Oscar winner wooing a publicist, an actress screaming for coke, a TV personality who tried to kill herself, and a fading celeb who can't get invited to the cool parties:
Today in thinly-veiled takedowns of attractive people: an actor sexing a coke-buying teen, three reality show women whose golden days are over, and a superstar with a normal girlfriend (HEH).
Sometimes people play their roles correctly. Today's blind items: a tween star who talks to other girls and is therefore a gay, a weed-smoking rapper(!) and a drunk diva actress and her crackhead friends:
Today we have another closeted celebrity who's just asking to be outed, an actor who owes his successes to blackmail, and an actress with a terrible and chronic case of camel toe.
Today we have a young actress is who is just drunk all the time, a mad old actress who ruined a Picasso in a violent rage, and an eating disorder.
Today we have a celebrity's wife who is a secret, exclusive lesbian, an actor who avoided a DUI by pimping out his lady friend, and an actress with terrible taste in home decor.
Today we have a prudish girlfriend of an actor, a celebrity couple that has to hide their coke problem from their kid, a rude actress at a movie theater, and a nasty breakup.
