From Page Six:

Your guesses (which include some bonus speculation about a possible outing of blind item legend Toothy Tile) are in. But first, take one more twirl around the May pole with One Fellah-Flirting-in-Public Blind Vice?:

Wherein we invite our readers to step up to humpy E! gossipist Ted Casablanca's awards podium and forget to thank their life partner for all of the support they've lent in solving his linguistically impenetrable blind items. This week, Ted's grown tired with longtime blind item rentboy Toothy Tile and is hungry for some fresh, closeted blood. Behold One Fellah-Flirting-in-Public Blind Vice?:

We thank you for mustering some enthusiasm for a blind item guessing game about a spoiled star having a little cry while shopping, which is hardly as titillating a subject as your favorite InStyle cover girl blowing rails off a toilet seat at Mood. Take another spin with (Two) Bitches on the Verge Blind Vices before going on to your responses:

Wherein we invite our readers to slip into their most aerodynamix spandex bodysuits and lay down on top of E! gossip-Olympian Ted Casablanca, then ride his two-man luge down the treacherous, icy chute of his weekly blind item. This week, Casablanca spins a tale of Valentine Day's woe, though one that's tragically devoid of coke-binging bimbos or doggy-styling closet-cases. Sip champagne from the slipper of (Two) Bitches on the Verge Blind Vices:

Every once in a while, the gossip rags fire a blind item warning shot just vague enough to make half of the industry think they're being watched. From today's Rush & Molloy column:

We'll be the first to admit that this week's blind item was hardly Casablanca's best effort. Still, you guessed (and guessed and guessed), and so the game must go on! Take another turn with One Vainglorious Blind Vice before moving on to your responses:

Wherein we invite our readers to subject themselves to the extreme linguistic G-forces of humpy E! gossip-centrifuge Ted Casablanca's weekly blind item and guess the hopelessly obscured identity of its secret subject. We neglected to post this guessing game during yesterday's Cruise-Holmes excitement, but enough of you showed up on our doorstep with torches and pitchforks to convince us to run with it today. Stare at the stunning reflection of One Vainglorious Blind Vice:

You've been holding your breath all day, but now it's time to exhale. The results for this morning's blind items:

From today's Page Six, some blind items to keep you warm:

Let's get to your blind item guesses before the afternoon dismissal bell sounds and everyone runs screaming for the parking lot, shall we? But first, reintroduce yourself to One Wigged-Out Blind Vice:

Wherein we invite our readers to take a seat on humpy E! gossip-carnie Ted Casablanca's weekly blind item roller coaster, the tallest thrill-ride in four counties. This week, Casablanca zigs briefly towards three-ways and blow-monkeys before zagging to the less glamorous topic of balding anorexics. Throw your arms in the air and scream for One Wigged-Out Blind Vice:

• For the remaining handful of you who still fail to comprehend why Fashion Week is the work of Satan himself, consider this: child runway models. You can go and say it's not JonBenet Ramsey, but we're not buying it. Does that little girl's face not tell of her suffering?! [Reuters]
• The Department of Child and Family Services is investigating Britney Spears after she was seen driving with her infant child in her lap. If they take the baby, maybe they can take K-Fed, too. [TMZ]
• Every once in awhile, Village Voice gossip Michael Musto gets off of his bike and shits out a million blind items, all at once. We can't even fathom how to arrange them into a guessing game, so just go on over and knock yourselves out. [VV]
• Aileen Gallagher at FishbowlNY talks to Warren St. John about the JT Leroy hoax; we imagine that after the interview, she took him to her boudoir and made sweet, syrupy love to him and his muscle tee. Well done, girlfriend. [FishbowlNY]
• A strip club indicted for tax evasion? You don't say. [NYP]
• Imagining a day in the life of reformed meth addict Jodi Sweetin, pre-rehab. [The Road More Traveled]
• Michael Kors is Mugatu. [Logged Hours]
• And last — but certainly not least — we proudly share with you some "love and sex advice" from Star Jones Reynolds. If you're brave, you'll crank up the volume for this one. [AOL]

From this morning's blind items:

• WHAT Conde Nast publisher, recently moved to a new title and alienating his ad-sales staff by consistently lusting after "sexy" advertisers, spends much of his time traveling to Italy? His underlings have taken to joking he must have a secret second family there.

We're loath to do two blind item days in a row — just fathoming the possibilities for Cokey Jan was exhausting — but today's Page Six can't be ignored:

Yesterday, Cindy Adams got her act together and gave us some decent gossip about a man or woman dubbed "Jan," who's a broadway star with a cocaine addiction on the verge of exploding. Knowing fully well that one of you probably was involved with getting Jan hooked, we asked for your guesses as to Jan's identity.

Today is something truly special, folks — Cindy Adams' yorkie-gossip column is actually worth reading! She writes of a person on Broadway, who she dubs "Jan" so we won't know whether the person is male or female. And, of course, Jan has a problem:

We know of no better way to get people's minds off the nastiness of layoffs than by momentarily basking in the joy of a blind item well-guessed. Take another dip in the pool with One Foreboding Blind Vice:

Wherein we invite our readers to affix the nipple clamps of humpy E! gossip-torturer Ted Casablanca firmly around their areolae and submit to the hurts-so-good-until-the-safety-word pleasures of his weekly blind item. This time, Casablanca sniffs dismissively in the direction of coke-craving starlets in favor of some impending legal disclosures of hot, three-way action. Grab a buddy and mount One Foreboding Blind Vice: