On Friday, we stuck you with some relatively challenging blind items; after a weekend of cockteasing, we're ready to go ahead with the results.

From today's Page Six:

Because not all of us can luxuriate in a Park City condo hot tub with a gaggle of giggling, blonde PR girls twirling your chest hairs and saying, "Wow. So you're Defamer? That's hot," we offer up instead this consolation prize: Your blind item guesses. First, let us reacquaint ourselves with One Bodily Fluid Blind Vice:

On Wednesday, Page Six asked:

Earlier today, we charged you with the task of figuring out today's blind items from Page Six. Thankfully, you darlings are more reliable than our menstrual cycle, and so we've got some purely speculative answers.

A slew of gems from today's Page Six:

• On Fake Writer Day, it's not just about the fake writers. Blogger Claire Zulkey, who has interviewed both JT Leroy and James Frey for her blog, crumbles to the floor and realizes her blogging ethics have suffered at the hands of these evil, literary minstrels. [Zulkey]
• We've no idea what sort of club would call itself V.I.P. room and then use Tara Reid as its spokeswhore, but her malformed side-boob defeats any notions of the venue's V or I. [Hollywood Tuna]
• Lindsay Lohan and Leonardo DiCaprio are 88% compatible. You have a 6% chance, however, of giving a shit. [Jossip]
• Star Jones would appreciate it if you didn't post on her blogs in all caps. It gives hubby Al a headache, you know. [Just Jared]
• We've no complaints regarding the calculated pimping of Anderson Cooper, other than that we'd like to see more jackets in the ads. Why not a bomber jacket? Perhaps a khaki trench? The puffy coat, while warm, just isn't flattering. [B&C] • As for this morning's Blind Item Guessing Game, you all were more silent than a scared altar boy. We're not sure how to punish you for playing poorly, but it'll likely involve force-feeding you complex carbohydrates.

It's a fantastically special day: The weather is warm, authors are cropping up as frauds, and we've culled not one but two tasty blind items for your enjoyment. The first, from the blogging cabbie at New York Hack:

Judging from the flood of responses, the Casablanca-free holiday seems to have really increased your appetite for blind item guessing fun. Let's get on to your answers before any more of Friday afternoon slips by us. But first, recirculate One Chatty, Snorty Blind Vice:

Wherein we invite our readers to submit themselves to the stroke-inducing linguistic stylings of humpy E! gossipist Ted Casablanca, and after painful rehabilitation of the cerebral language-recognition centers damaged in the problem-solving feat, guess the identity of his weekly blind item. Casablanca returns from holiday with another tale of booger sugar abuse, but instead of the usual starlet-in-stall antics, this week's mystery snorter seems to be a little older. (One of the hints frees Judge Judy from suspicion of blowing rails off her gavel.) Inhale One Chatty, Snorty Blind Vice:

Earlier, we asked:

Lumps of coal in your stockings be damned, you tiptoed with care to send us your best guesses. But first, let us sip our hot toddies and nuzzle once more by the beckoning amber glow of One Pained n Stained Blind Vice:

Wherein we invite our readers to set a trap of milk and cookies for humpy E! gossip-Claus Ted Casablanca, lure him down their chimney, then hold him hostage to pepper him with their best guesses as to the identity of his weekly blind item. Nary a coke-snorting It Girl or a closeted actor to be found this week, as Ted takes a turn toward the gross just in time for the holidays. Make some snow angels for One Pained 'n' Stained Blind Vice:

OK, kids, your guesses are in and ready for inspection. Take on more trip down One Overly Cozy Blind Vice Lane before moving on:

We never meant to neglect your blind item guessing needs, but for the last couple of weeks the wily Ted Casablanca managed to sneak his items past us while we tended to other, far less important matters. Today, The Game returns:

Earlier, we asked the masses:

From today's Page Six:

Let's not waste any more of our short time together before the weekend and get right to your responses to today's guessing game. But first, take another sip from the cup of One Stunted, Surly Blind Vice:

Wherein we invite our readers to crash-land their jetliner in humpy E! gossipist Ted Casablanca's mysterious tropical paradise and establish a new society with near-weekly blind items as the only codified law. This time, Casablanca casts aside the dirty needles and closeted actors to weave a somewhat semishocking tale of celebrity tooldom. Dive into One Stunted, Surly Blind Vice:

Mmm, tasty: