Our apologies for depriving you of your God-given right to blind items; we'll never break your heart again. Give us a hug and feast on the following:

Your guesses as to the real-life identities of PP and STS are in! But first, bone up on One Deceiving Blind Vice:

Wherein we invite our readers to interpret the cranial gossip-bumps on the head of humpy E! gossip phrenologist Ted Casablanca's weekly blind items and guess the identity of their hopelessly obscured subjects. Ted once again taps into the infinitely renewable supply of publicly straight, secretly gay actors for this week's riddle. Furrow your brow and get to work on One Deceiving Blind Vice:

Your guesses are in! Wow, y'all are really worked up over this one today. Take another lap around One Confused Blind Vice before moving on:

Wherein we invite our readers to get lost in the word-labyrinth patrolled by humpy E! gossip minotaur Ted Casablanca and guess the identity of his weekly blind item. Yet again (we've lost track, is this the third or fourth time?), Ted gives himself over to his obsession with Toothy Tile, the young actor who's silently struggling with his bisexuality and constantly threatening to go public. Tie the makeshift noose around the doorknob of One Confused Blind Vice:

• Quite literally, tens of tens of you have asked why we're not doing today's blind items from Page Six. Well, because they're hardly blind. What up, Sienna? [Page Six]
• And why haven't we mocked the Times piece on the too-rich-for-their-own-good boys of College Humor? Because they're posing in a tent, and writer Warren St. John has a thing for young boys in tents. It's a sensitive situation, and lawyers are involved. [NYT]
• Before he was signing $650k book deals, blogger Dana Vachon was sending his sassy tidings to possible Imaginary Socialite and Daily scribe Faran Krentcil. [Duke Chronicle]
• Bonnie Fuller and other tabloid demi-goddesses (snarf) claim they're no longer outing closeted celebrities. You win this time, Tom Cruise! [Fox]

Your thoughts on horny spa patrons and lemonade-serving pop-stars are ready for inspection. Take Two Squishy Blind Vices on a second date and see if things click:

Wherein we invite our readers to fire their arrows at the unprotected ankles of the weekly blind items that humpy E! gossip god Ted Casablanca renders invulnerable by careful dipping in the Styx of Incomprehensibility. This week, a two-fer, as Ted uncorks on both a closeted actor and a kinky musician. Luxuriate in the scented bubbles of Two Squishy Blind Vices:

We're sorry, dear readers, for denying you the answers to our blind item bonanza for another tortorous 12 hours. We were actually ready to publish this business yesterday at the end of the day, but then it hit us: No Lohan. Seriously, these are the first blind items in recent memory where the possible culprits really aren't Lindsay Lohan. The implications of this earth-shattering revelation were far too great; we had to take a step back and breathe. A blind item without Lohan is like a glass of water without hydrogen, and it took us a whole night to wrap our heads around that.

Wake up and smell today's blind items, from Page Six and Gatecrasher:

We never said today's blind items were incredibly challenging; we merely noted that they were of varying in levels of difficulty. Judging from your response, those levels would be "duh" and "no fucking shit." While no one likes to be coddled with their gossip, at least Page Six respects the sheer torture of easing back into work today. That being said, your "guesses" follow...

Because some of you are a bit more hung over than others, today's Page Six blind items range from levels of "duh" to the slightly challenging:

You, precious reader, make us damn proud. Yep, we're being sincere. Yesterday we posted some tough blind items but, by the day's end, we'd yet to receive enough of a response to run your guesses. And so, from deep within the bleak cloud of our resulting depression, we scolded you for not being more proactive. Regrettably, we were a bit angry with you, going so far as to demand more reader interaction before we'd even consider revealing the suggested answers. We were cruel, cold, and unkind.

For your inquisitive pleasure, today's blind items are a bit more challenging than the usual Lohan-ready tidbits. In fact, they're downright insidery, and insidery always makes us hot:

Today's Page Six has a hilarious blind item — except it's not so blind. Thin ice as follows:

To quote a reader who put it best, this morning's blind items were "perhaps the most elementary blind items" in the history of man. On the other hand, it's Friday and we'd all be pissy if we had to think about anything too hard. Grass is always greener, gang. Onward:

Oh, for joy, 'tis Friday and Page Six comes bearing gifts. With varying degrees of difficulty, everyone can enjoy this batch of blind items:

This morning we asked about a certain someone's on set bathroom breaks, and you enthusiastically—nay, desperately—responded. You even answered the Blind Item we didn't ask for! That's dedication. Funny crap from TV Land after the jump. -KEW

We trust in your poor taste and creativity for this one. Send along your guesses, and perhaps a dramatic re-enactment of the scene ASAP. Our lawyers are researching precedents for scatologically filled libel cases as we speak.-KEW

Which young pop star's recent apparent weight loss can be attributed to a couture-grade corset she wears 24/7? Word is, she even wears it under t-shirts!