Two-time Oscar-winning soul-vendor Hilary Swank has had some time to think about her paid appearance at a lavish, floating birthday party for Chechnya's murderous president, Ramzan Kadyrov. And she now regrets it.

October 5th marked the 35th birthday of Chechnya's president, Ramzan Kadyrov, who was installed into office at age 30, three years after his father's assassination. Ramzan wanted celebrities at his party, and what Ramzan wants, Ramzan gets. So Hilary Swank, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Seal collected their checks, hopped a flight to Grozny, and got cozy with Ramzy!

Well, look what burbled up in the Turkish blogosphere: pictures of deposed Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi's son Hannibal cavorting with wife Aline Skaf, who familiarizes herself with "porn star" poses, in flammable-looking lingerie. You'd think all that blood money would pay for nicer panties?

South Korean media discovered Kim Jong-Il's grandson's Facebook page on Saturday and are having a field day picking over his blog and photo galleries. Turns out he's just a geeky high schooler who likes American movies and gets in comments flame wars.

Resilient crazy person Muammar Qaddafi — despite claims from Libya's transitional forces and just about everyone else that he's cornered in the Sahara, or in hiding in Niger, or sipping cocktails with Robert Mugabe — released a new audio message today to Al-Rai TV and (predictably) it's delusional:

The legacy of Qaddafi's Libya keeps getting weirder. The new president of Tripoli's prestigious Fateh University recently discovered a mysterious subterranean complex under Green Theater, a center for studying Qaddafi's political manifesto the Green Book. The complex contains a bedroom, jacuzzis, mood lighting… and a fully equipped gynecological operating theater with klieg lights and an observation deck. So that's, uh, creepy. Take it away, horrified new university president:

Col. Muammar Qaddfi's high-profile son Seif al-Islam was said to have been captured late Sunday night by Libyan rebels — a claim that was repeated by the International Criminal Court in the Hague where Seif is charged with war crimes along with his father. But early this morning, Seif showed up at Tripoli's Rixos Hotel in a white limo to talk a little shit to foreign journalists. He even took reporters on a guided tour: "We are going to hit the hottest spots in Tripoli."

Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi's reign is crumbling; two of his sons have been captured. But as rebels besiege Qaddafi's Bab Azaziya compound, nobody knows where the gristle-headed strongman is. Is he cowering beneath a human shield of Amazonian bodyguards in his compound? Is he sneaking off to Venezuela?

Whereas the opening day of the Mubaraks' trial on August 3rd was all about Hosni picking his nose and the general sense of shock felt by Egyptians who watched their longtime leader sit in a cage, today was all about appearances. Again, Hosni's conveniently devout sons Alaa and Gamal clutched Qurans. But this time around, Hosni traded in his prison pajamas for what looked to be a zip up track suit. He also looked like he's visited a taxidermist.

Deposed Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak appeared in court today to face charges of corruption and ordering the killing of unarmed protesters earlier this year. He was wheeled in on a hospital bed acting the part of a sad old man, along with his klepto scumbag sons, Gamal and Alaa. Hard times for the Mubaraks. So, in honor of Hosni's not so glorious return to Cairo, here's a quick look at the man in happier times.

Venezuela's blowhard leader Hugo Chavez, fresh off cancer treatment in Cuba, celebrated his 57th birthday yesterday in Caracas by informing the masses that he's not going anywhere:

Despite threats from the U.S. State Department last summer that Kim Jong-il would no longer be able to buy jet skis and Iranian caviar, he's still shelling out millions of dollars on everything from Rolex watches to Gucci handbags for his top officials and he's even having McDonald's delivered by airplane from China, according to the Korea Herald.

Russia's special envoy to Africa, Mikhail Margelov told the newspaper Izvestia that Muammar Qaddafi has an "abundance" of surface-to-surface missiles, and he's not afraid to use them on his own capital city if the situation spirals out of control:

The Guardian yesterday pointed out a problem with this picture, which was released by Syria's comically bad state news agency, SANA, showing the alleged swearing in of Anas Abdul-Razzaq Na'em as the new governor of Hama. Seriously, look at that (click to expand). Come on now, guys.

When you hear the names "Chechnya" and "Grozny" you might be reminded of images of death and destruction from the former Soviet republic's brutal wars with Moscow. Fair enough! But it's totally nice now, and is run by a Moscow-backed murderous warlord, Ramzan Kadyrov, who has an untold amount of innocent blood on his hands and likes to play soccer. In fact, Chechnya is so nice that a 9-year-old girl from Siberia who suffered from narcolepsy was sent there for six months and now she's cured. So, what's the secret? According to a statement on Chechnya's official website:

The trial of deposed Tunisian president Zine El Abidine Ben Ali begins today in absentia, since Ben Ali is yukking it up with Saudi royals on his extended vacation there. Today's trial is the first of many, but this one is pretty juicy. Ben Ali is charged with theft, as well as drug and weapons possession, and the case is built on evidence recovered from two of his palaces outside of Tunis.

The regime of Syrian president Bashar al-Assad is celebrating the wholesale slaughter of civilians by throwing a kick ass street party, "Raise with us the Biggest Syrian Flag" today in Damascus. They've unveiled a huge flag just for the event: 2,300 meters long and 18 meters wide and sewn with the blood, sweat and determination of pro-Assad heroes. Luckily, state-run Syrian Arab News Agency had a "correspondent" on the scene, where emotions were running high:

Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi took some time out of his busy schedule hiding from NATO bombs, fighting a war against his own people, and getting so high to play a game of chess with the president of the World Chess Federation, Kirsan Ilyumzhinov yesterday in Tripoli. Russian news agency Interfax reports that Qaddafi and one of his sons went with the Sicilian Defense — a chess opening that is described as "combative." How fitting. He also said there's no way he's leaving Libya.

When Zimbabwe's aging strongman Robert Mugabe called dibs on a toilet at a trade fair he meant it. A police officer who used it without permission now sits in detention for unauthorized crapping. The officer has asked for leniency.

In March, doctors and nurses in "key US ally" Bahrain were being assaulted by government troops for treating injured pro-democracy protesters. And today, 47 doctors and nurses were arraigned on charges that they tried to topple the government.