· Amy Sacco may want her A-list patrons to feel at home at Bungalow 8, but pity those who live in the London Terrace Towers, where Sacco's new restaurant Bette is being constructed — a gas leak in Bette has forced some residents to rip apart their kitchens in order to replace gas pipes. [Page Six]
· The Oscar after-party report: everyone is fabulous, and you're not. [Lowdown]
· Do try to stop by the Times Square Virgin Records today — Jennifer Lopez will be signing copies of her new album, and PETA will be staging "Phase One" of a massive campaign launched against the furry singer. Expect lots of screaming and horrifying videos! Free red paint for everyone! [Scoop]
· Tom Cruise stops in at the Vanity Fair bash to say hello to former beard Penelope Cruz. [R&M]
· Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will soon be reunited, as the two will have to do some reshoots on their upcoming film, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Which means lots of celebrity weekly insinuation to come! Hurrah! [Page Six]

· Paris Review prizewinners (for fiction and most promising emerging writer) appear at the Culture Project to read from their respective works. The $10 admission includes an open bar—a nice way to cope with the realization that you, most likely, will not be published in the Paris Review anytime soon. [flavorpill]
· Bar-owning journalist hottie Sebastian Junger discusses what he's learned from being a bar-owning journalist hottie at the Explorers Club tonight. Tickets go on sale at 6pm for all of you lustful admirers. [Explorers]
· Crown Heights duo Ratatat headline a show at the Knitting Factory for Pitchfork readers who fancy melodic electro-rock. [KF]

Friday:
· Hipster lifestyle manifesto Repellent Magazine has about the same publishing track record as Radar, but they sure do throw some fun parties! Tonight, DFA mates Pixeltan team up with Kid606 at Rothko. [flavorpill]
· Nu-folk Americana rockers Animal Collective haul ass from Brooklyn for a sold-out show at Bowery Ballroom. You know you want to go: all the cool kids will be there, and when was the last time you said no to peer pressure? [BB]
Saturday:
· In the pantheon of coolest band names ever, I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness has gotta be pretty high up there. As for their music, well, we've never heard them, but God, that name is so cool... They play with the Winter Pageant, Uncut, and the Octopus Project at Rothko. Jesus, what isn't at that freaking place? [Rothko]
· Indie favorites Luna kick off their three-night stay at the Bowery Ballroom. Rothko, Bowery. Bowery, Rothko. You get the idea. [BB]
Sunday:
· The Oscars are going to be boring, but maybe Chris Rock will call someone a white bitch and everyone in Famousville will squirm uncomfortably in their seats. That's reason enough to watch, and our lazy brother on to the West will be live-blogging the ceremony while drinking himself to death. [Oscars]

· There's a recurring party with half-naked girls tending an open bar, and you didn't know about it? You poor thing! In a charitable act of "cross-blogination," we'll let our savvy little brother show you the light. [Gridskipper]
· Meet the hell's newest gatekeepers: Grubman disciples Kelly Brady, Rachel Krupa, Ali Zweben and Millie Monyo, stars of the impending reality-doom that is MTV's Power Girls. [NYP]
· Slate does its best to make a connection between rappers and bloggers. It's okay; we're shaking our heads in disbelief, too. [Slate]
· This is probably the most disturbing headline-picture combo we've seen in a long time. [Whatevs]

· DJ duo Thievery Corporation spin a set at trendier-than-you'll-ever-be Hiro, inside the Maritime Hotel. Just make sure you're Asian if you plan on attending. [ESL]
· The androgynous Anthony and his band of merry Johnsons take their brand of gloriously gay-ish pop to Bowery Ballroom tonight. [Paper]
· Part macabre children's theater, part cabaret, part Edward Gorey/Tim Burton imagery: the critically acclaimed "junk opera" Shockheaded Peter promises to simultaneously freak you the eff out and keep you highly entertained. Features the music of Grammy-nominated black humor specialists the Tiger Lillies, to boot. [flavorpill]

· Daily Show scribe Eric Drysdale appears with some comic book illustrators/writers to present comic-booky things on stage. It's all a bit unclear, but it promises to be funny. Hosts Todd Levin and Bob Powers also promise that six audience members will get cartoon portraits of themselves, if you fancy looking at yourself as a bulked-up superhero. [flavorpill]
· Cerebral white boy Aesop Rock and cerebral white-schooled boy Mr. Lif headline a show featuring artists off of everyone's favorite undie label at Bowery tonight. [BB]
· German electronica king Michael Mayer teams with Canadian Jake Fairley for a night of foot stomping, head-bobbing fun at Canal Room. Don't forget the club drugs and the dancing shoes. [TONY]

· Post-punk a cappella darlings The Futureheads yelp their way through a set at Bowery Ballroom tonight. Shout Out Louds and High Speed Scene, whoever they are, open. [BB]
· Monty Python legend Eric Idle reads from his web-journal (dare we say "blog?") he kept during a tour; his musings were later converted into a book. That means there's hope for all you 6,218,483 (at last check) Livejournal kids yet! [92Y]
· Laurie Anderson's The End of the Moon is a one-woman show inspired by her time as NASA's artist-in-residence, a government program which have yet to fully comprehend. See what your tax dollars paid for starting tonight. [flavorpill]

· Just in case you weren't already invited, PR jackanapes Jonathan Cheban is celebrating his birthday tonight at Butter (sponsored by Evian, Lean Cuisine, and Hazmat). We're assuming the party will be downstairs, of course, and things start after 11. Be sure to RSVP to Lizzie so she can put you on the list, k?
· Remember when you were a total slut in college? Remember when people saw you being a total slut in college as you made the 6:00am trek back to your dorm room wearing the same clothes as the night before? If so, then "Brutal Honesty: The Walk of Shame" at Sutra 16 is for you. [Upcoming]
· Tonic continues its last-ditch effort to save itself by bringing in freak-folker Devendra Banhart. [Tonic]
· Part-time rapper, part-time DJ, full-time hustler Princess Superstar takes her one-track mind to Lit tonight. 9pm for all you horny single males out there. [NY Press]

Friday:
· Insert "I'm Rick James, Bitch!" joke here: Charlie Murphy, Donnell Rawlings, and the rest of the Chapelle's Show crew (minus Dave himself) kick off a three night stint at Caroline's. [Caroline's]
· Multi-lingual electro trop-rockers Brazilian Girls aren't Brazilian, and only 1/4 of the band is actually female. Oh, those crazy kids and their ironic band names! Art For Progress hosts a record listening party for them at Mundial tonight. [AFP]
Saturday:
· Got nothing to do today? As in, really got absolutely nothing to do today? Head on over to the Directors Guild of America Theater for DocuDay. For $55, you can watch every single documentary nominated for an Academy Award this year. Screenings start at 9am and end a million years later. [flavorpill]
· The lady who killed the Beatles (Yoko) performs a benefit concert with the boy almost killed by Bijou (Sean) to save the club almost killed by rising rent and faulty pipe lines (Tonic). [Tonic]
Sunday:
· Newest post-punk "It" band Bloc Party attempt to make the trannies dance at Motherfucker's President's Day Freak Out. The free Red Bull and vodka between 10-11 shouldn't hurt. [Roxy]

· For gay men and the straight women who love them: Playgirl throws a party at Webster Hall, complete with free smut mags, DVDS, and sex toys. You know you want to and for once, we're not judging. [Webster Hall]
· If Hollywood money makes you powerful, then Dreamworks co-founder David Geffen (worth a cool $4.4 billion, according to Forbes) is probably pretty important. Plus, he's Jewish! Go to the 92nd Street Y and listen to him declare ownership of the universe. [92Y]
· Miami rockers L-D Section I claim to be a "company that sees no distinction between art and commerce — or anything else." How intriguingly vague! Expect the art and business kids (we guess?) to be out in full force for their show tonight at the Mercury Lounge. [flavorpill]

· Tony and Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Wendy Wasserstein interviews regular playwright Paul Rudnick about his favorite "night table" books tonight at the 92nd Street Y. We're pretty sure the description is saucier than the actual event. [92Y]
· Hey, remember the East Village in 1985? Or were you still scared of needles back then? Brush on your local hipster folklore at the start of East Village USA Films, a six day festival full of works made in the East Village during the 80's. [flavorpill]
· Listen up, nerds: Gothamist throws down with Movable Hype 2.0 (we're hoping most of you still don't get that title) tonight at the Knitting Factory. The showcase features Elkland, The Information, Other Passengers, The Cloud Room, and a bunch of people talking about RSS feeds. [Gothamist]

· Wanna hear bloggers muse in person on past sordid sexcapades? Probably not—there's a reason they sit behind computers all day long. If that's not too much of a deterrent, check out the Spawn.of.Worst.Sex.Ever!! show tonight at P.S. 122. HTML knowledge not required. [PS 122]
· Is the Polyphonic Spree a band-as-cult or a cult-as-band? Who knows. Drink the Kool-Aid, head to Brooklyn, and check them out at Warsaw; they hit the stage with former Soul Coughing frontman Mike Doughty. [Warsaw]

· Yuppies, bored WASP housewives, and other campy canine lovers convene at Madison Square Garden today and tomorrow for the 129th Westminster Dog Show. Someone should make a mockumentary about that. [Westminster]
· Paul Sevigny's "band" A.R.E. Weapons "perform" at Pianos tonight as part of the BeWare! Valentine's Day Party. [Pianos]
· The Fortress of Solitude author Jonathan Lethem visits The Bowery Poetry Club for...well, we're not really sure. The website doesn't really offer any specifics, and we'll be damned if we actually picked up a telephone to find out. But we know Lethem will be there, for whatever reason, at 4pm. [Bowery Poetry]

Epiphanies courtesy of Brooklyn's drunkest.
Scenes From A Urinal [Tale of Two Cities]

Friday
· Because tsunami relief is so last week, try Tonic relief: the LES haven for creative music-lovers is in danger of closing its doors. Tonight s fundraiser features Thomas Fehlmann (of Orb) and Gudrun Gut, both of whom will fight the man with the power German electronica. [Tonic]
· It s art; it s punk; it s electro; it s yeah, we don t know what it is. Maybe you can figure it out for us? Tracy and the Plastics do their thing tonight at the Kitchen. [TONY]

· Oh, my god, you guys. What if, like, Emily Brontë had set Wuthering Heights in a high school? Would we still have to, like, totally read it in high school? Tonight, Wuthering High, the new stage adaptation debuts at the 14th Street Y Theater. [Wuthering High]

· The internet is so, like, egalitarian! The Plug Independent Music Awards, held tonight at Webster Hall, let you, blogger/procrastinator/online gambling addict, decide who the top acts in indie music are. RJD2, Aesop Rock, Sufjan Stevens, and Ted Leo are among the acts scheduled to perform. [TicketWeb]

· New Yorker head honcho David Remnick discusses his magazine's past, present, and future at the General Society Building tonight. The description says, "Editor since 1998, David Remnick has firmly steered the course of the magazine into the 21st century." We thought it said "corpse" at first. [General Society]

· Get your fill of Norwegian music at Bowery Ballroom tonight, where Scandinavian duo Kings of Convenience kick off a two-night stint. [Bowery Ballroom]
· Have you ever wanted to pay money to go ice skating with Michelle Kwan, Sasha Cohen, and Viktor Petrenko? If you are one of the small number of people who answered "yes" to that question, head on over to Wollman Rink today for the cleverly-titled "Skating With the Stars, Under the Stars." [Paper]
· Intern Alexis suggests stoner nursing home vehicle Assisted Living. "Very funny. Very touching," she says. Sounds good to us. [Angelika]

Like the endless salad and breadsticks at Olive Garden, articles on the 90s Club Nerveana just keep coming. As The Times 'Style' section reports: