Friday
—The Skirball Cultural Center hosts a screening of Repulsion, Roman Polanski’s 1965 film about a schizophrenic woman who suffers from hallucinations of horrific images of rape and murder, and no, it's not about Catherine Zeta Jones. Wes Crave will be there to intro, since Mr. Polanksi wants to avoid being thrown in a jail cell for stepping on American soil.
Saturday
—All four original members of the legendary So Cal band X will be signing copies of their new double Best of Anthology (X-Make The Music Go Bang) at Tower Records on Sunset @ 3pm. More newsworthy than all original members reuniting is the fact that they managed to put together two discs worth of material for their Best Of. Can you name an X song other than that one about LA? Let punk fan hate mail begin...now.
Sunday
—Vice mag and Plant Records sponsor DJ sets by members of Elefant and Ambulance LTD and a live performance by The Fever at the Standard Downtown. Trucker hats, alcohol, the rooftop bar of a very tall building downtown...please, everybody get home in one non-splatted piece.

· $1400 for a SoHo loft — for 13 hours. [Craigslist]
· Genome of human zit sequenced. Seriously. [Boing Boing]
· Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, possibly world's best movie ever, opens today. [Gothamist]
· Ewan McGregor travels 20,000 miles, grows INSANE beard. [BBC]
· We got an odd tip this week: beginning August 1st, all employees of Bloomingdale's will be required to dress entirely in black. It's not really news — but do write me when Bloomingdale's employees actually are black.

To reach the heppest cats in town, learn about advertising here. It's fun!

—"Yeah, you heard me right, Britney. My mothafuckin' wedding is more Kabbalah than your mothafuckin' wedding. I'm taking this shit to Is-ra-el." [Ed. note—We did see that Target is selling the magical red string bracelets. See yesterday's Kabbalirifc post.]
—Four minutes that will win more converts than all of Fahrenheit 9/11.[via Rooftop Report]
—If no one's ever been convicted by a news headline, this guy might be the first.
—Wonkette's DNC coverage is on MTV's Direct Effect. We're pretty sure she doesn't know what show she's on, but watch anyway.
—And, naturally, The Smoking Gun has Anthony Anderson's (see above) mug shot.

· We're not exactly thrilled to have anyone from D.C. in town ourselves, but we don't want to hear any more crazy talk: if all the city's service workers strike during the Republican National Convention, we'll be stuck preparing our own daiquiris! Fuck that. It's summer. BLENDED DRINKS ARE NON-NEGOTIABLE! [Shut It Down]
· The Village Idiot is closing and you know what that means: time to get some really old, nasty bras thrown on your head. [NYP]
· We can't just completely ignore Boston, try as we might. So, John Edwards: gay or Italian? [ Wonkette]
· Newsflash! Celebrities, namely John Cusack, don't like the NY Post! [NYP]
· The biggest collection of free mp3 download links ever. Mmm, put on your eye patch and indulge in some piracy! [Enorgis]

· BAffleck had a girlfriend? And they broke up? Oh, color us out of the loop. Now he's crying into his whiskey about the press ruining his relationships. [NYDN]
· "No comment" alert! Are Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow engaged? PR flacks are avoiding the answer. No's = Yes's! [Page Six]
· Peter Peterson, Chair of Something Important and Foreign, interviews his 7 year-old spawn at a book party. Diane Sawyer politely laughs and then thows up into her napkin. [NYT]
· Sharpen your eagle eyes, young stalkers. Gwyneth and her Fruit Child are back in Manhattan. [FJJ board]

—A Czech website has pictures of Elijah "Frodo" Wood partying in Prague, where's he's filming Everything Is Illuminated We have no idea what the accompanying story is about, but he seems to be having a good time openly smoking cigarettes and making friends with the locals.
—Comic geeks successfully lure celebs to last weekend's convention.
—Yankee Pot Roast loves lovin' the I Love The [Insert Decade] shows on VH1.
—Monica Bellucci utilizes Good Plastic Surgery to go from "really hot" to "ridiculous hot."
—Screech is a shitty tipper. Our last Hollywood illusion has finally been shattered. Prepare for our wrath now that we've really got nothing to lose. [via New Yorkish]

· Lafayette Street's semi-hot-spot Pangaea is having their closing party tomorrow night — and evidently some people won't miss the "shitty euro-ass-licking-ball-sniffing-shitpen." [Kill The Bird]
· Deep inside Robert DeNiro's TriBeCa development: now going for $1000 a square foot. [Curbed]
· MEDIA ALERT! ONCE-WELL-KNOWN SEX AND THE CITY STAR CHRIS NOTH RETURNS FROM ISRAEL! STOP EVERYTHING!!! Tomorrow, New York Marriott Marquis, 9th Floor, 4 p.m. Huh! Whose PR problem is bigger: Israel's or Mr. Big's?
· The world's hardest blind item ever: pop tartlets and porn stars! [Defamer]

· Slanch-spawners Kathy and Rick Hilton, along with some other family members no one cares about, are setting up permanent residency in Los Angeles. That's right, everyone, there's going to be a vacant suite at the Waldorf Astoria! Time for a kegger! [NYP]
· Martha's ready to rock the ankle bracelet. [NYDN
· We thought self-inflicted gynecological accidents were totally normal and, frankly, who doesn't get hauled off to Bellevue here and there? Courtney hits long-term rehab. [BBC]
· Sarah Jessica Parker hustles GAP, Kristen Davis cakes on the Maybelline. Life after Sex and the City is clearly just a long descent into whorish oblivion. [PR Newswire]

—Kevin Federline's ex tells Brit she should worry about where Kevin has previously put his penis and demand that he get an HIV test before they get hitched. If Brit's really interested in playing it safe, she'd only touch 'Lil Kev through a radiation suit. And even then, she should use the salad tongs. [via Jossip]
—J. Lo's one-arm bandit-yanking Mom prefers gambling buddy Ben to Marc Anthony. Life at the slots gets so lonely once you've won that first couple of million.
—What's up-and-coming MTV superstar Wonkette wearing at the convention? Watch out, TRL viewers, she's a streaker when she drinks!
—Why we gave up on ideas of success years ago: inferior, civilian genetics.

We know what we said about Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson sightings, and no, The OC darlings are not currently fucking on our gazeebo. But when someone writes in to tell us all about the breaking of their Seth Cohen-spotting cherry, we can't in good conscience pass up the opportunity to share the touching tale with the world.

Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com, and let John Tesh know that you're not particularly a fan of his New Age synthesizer music or taste in sensible, wrinkle-proof slacks.

Intern Neel Shah is working the Dunkin Donuts stand at the Democratic Convention in Boston. His report today features drunken ramblings (drunken on both parts, we're sure) with the Washington Post gossip columnist Richard Leiby. The word from under the big top: about as much fun as a weekend in Fajullah.

1. Hollywood Reporter: "Seacrest Out in Some Markets." Good news or bad news, depending on whether you're a TV watcher or a man who likes to have sex with men. [Yahoo!]
2. The worst article on books in the history of the world has finally been identified. [LNR, via Maud]
3. The Scissor Sisters take their UK stardom back home for upcoming show at PS1; we're hoping lead singer Jake Shears can keep it in his pants here in the U.S. [V.V.]
4. Inside former satirist P. J. O'Rourke's hideout in New Hampshire. [Boston Globe]
5. Mary-Kate Olsen enjoys first public meal since rehab. [LA.com]
6. Girls on film: a Big (Gay) Brother 5 homage. [Defamer]

—Britney Spears is planning her big day—no, not the monster truck pull—and both the Kabbalists and the Baptists want a piece of the fake-Jewish/white-trash hybrid action. Also, Britney discovers the wonderful world of ironic t-shirts. How about one that says, "I'm marrying for money"?
—Bernard Weinraub, NYT Hollywood reporter and husband of Sony movie exec Amy Pascal, quits. LAW's Nikki Finke has the scoop, but we kind of miss the East Coast vs West Coast war rhetoric of earlier columns.
—David and Kyle Get Blue Balls at the White Castle (with pics!)
—Commie pinko Hollywood liberals deny attempt at brainwashing Americans with The Manchurian Candidate remake.
—We think it's Chris Noth's body fat, and not the peculiar salination of the Dead Sea, that allows him to float effortlessly in its waters.
—The real news from the convention: Is bloated, pink-nosed Massachusetts senator Ted Kennedy drunk yet?

Mary-Kate Olsen was released from rehab on Friday night and is, we assume, at an all-you-can-eat Red Lobster in Encino right now, scarfing down steaks and an Iowa's worth of corn on the cob. Also she's probably not doing a lot of coke.
Olsen Twin Released From Treatment [AP]

· Paris Hilton ditches her pussy-boy-toy Nick Carter, but gets a kitty cat, naming it "Dolce" (after the designer, natch). [NYP]
·Jackass body-fatless Steve-O trashes hotspot Lotus, throws ice bucket at his lawyer. Awesome. When will he start dating vicious starlet Bijou Phillips? [NYP]
·Where's former Martha Stewart broker Peter Bacanovic getting his cash? He told the judge he was broke at sentencing, but he's spent much of the winter in Los Angeles, jetting to and fro — and he still has a PR rep on retainer. [NYDN (2nd item)]

—Catwoman bashing continues: An open letter to Sharon Stone and Halle Berry's hearing problems as an excuse for bad career choices and Catwoman vs. Cavewoman.
—The unthinkable happens: Gays turning their back on fag hag All Century Team captain Margaret Cho.
—Mets bottom catcher Mike Piazza dodging another kind of rumor: Was he a Teen Wolf actor or wasn't he? [via Proximity]
—"Women Behind Bars:" This should be a lot sexier than it is.

Friday
1. Hipsters, forsake the PBR for one evening and look like a slightly classier kind of drunk with a glass of wine in your hand: Extreme Wine Tasting at the Echo
2. We thought that they killed most of the hippes at Kent State, but some apparently escaped to create inspirational rock collectives: Polyphonic Spree play the El Rey.
3. Chuck Klosterman reads at Skylight Books. Some says he's the voice of his generation, but that's sort of like being a wooden dick on a land-mine victim.
Saturday
1. Create:Fixate is artsy photography, conversation, and all manner of things we pretend to like in order to get laid.
2. And if getting laid through art appreciation doesn't work there, try the Scion Art Auction at Bergamot Station, with KCRW DJ Garth Trinidad.
Sunday
1. Break the Cycle fundraiser on the Fox Lot:This festive celebration features gourmet foods, activities, entertainment, live and silent auctions, and an amazing raffle all to end domestic violence by working proactively with youth. What's Fox trying to sell here. They must be releasing a domestic violence movie soon.

· Downtown commu-tards, light your molotov cocktails. Witness plans for the Bowery Project, coming "soon" to the corner of Bowery and 3rd. It's like the Manhattan Project, only less heinous. [Curbed]
· Martha Stewart star witness not invited to prison pajama party. [Reuters]
· Poor Halle Berry. They can't even find a nice phrase to put on the Catwoman posters. More kitty litter puns than you can shake a scooper at. [Defamer]
· Photo service Getty Pictures can't tell its black men apart. [NYT, last correction]
· And a wee blind item, about which only four of you will care: what TV-obsessed internet demi-celeb is getting bought out next week by a media company? Now maybe the youngster can afford those 18 TVs he's always wanted for his dorm room.