This weekend's New York Times Magazine features a long profile of the littlest Obama Administration members: "All the Obama 20-somethings." How do they cope in a world of trashy blogs, constantly trying to derail them with meaningless Facebook scandals?

Today we have that wonderful parenting couple who can't decide between breast feeding and breast augmenting, another famous couple who secretly hate one another, and a not at all sober, not at all celibate actor.

Nothing like a hidden sausage to hit the spot. This celebrity is keeping her checkered past mysterious. This young-looking actor has a DL coke problem. This socialite is broadcasting trysts with her surreptitious younger lover. Secrets don't make friends!

His muscles are bulging but his pants aren't. No one recognizes this once-famous comedian. This reality guy is begging for coke and a Twitter celeb is meeting all sorts of ladies online. Today it's snips, snails, and dirty dog tales.

Now the child is desperate, homeless, and turning tricks. This celeb admits her fame was manufactured by the tabloids, a singer is petrified of being alone, and these twins once shared a stripper. Way to keep it in the family.

He's asking others ready to make the announcement to wait so he can be the center of gay-ttention. This actress has a nasty diet secret and a party goer dishes on the celebs she's met. It's all about first impressions.

He's still flirting up a storm to hide that his doctor says he can't have sex anymore. He has more problems than the mysterious star set to come out of the closet May 5. She's got nothing but good news.

But it's working. She's losing weight! Another actress won't report a rape to keep her career on track. This star is cruising gay clubs—without his wife. Why do celebs even bother trying to hide anymore?

Insomnia is ruining his life—and marriage. This once-broken-up couple is engaged and planning a huge summer wedding. This husband will be chagrined that his uptight wife is letting loose. Goes together like a horse and carriage, doesn't it?

He's afraid his ex-girlfriend will sell the naughty snapshots of him with another dude. This star pushed his famous wife down the stars. This actor swore off all technology so he could play "timeless" characters. Shouldn't his time be up?

Fresh off her Playboy pictorial, Spitzer superfriend Ashley Dupre sat down for an interview and explained that she doesn't talk about the fact that she has a boyfriend, which is why the story's not "out there." So everyone: shhhh.

The white stuff made her a lot friendlier at a recent music festival. This actor has his assistant lend him a helping hand—literally. Another actress has a kid with serious gambling debts. Maybe she should sell some swag.

Yesterday, one of Oprah's ex-employees sent us her tale of woe working at her media company, Harpo. Now a few more readers have come out of the woodwork to share their stories and sightings.

He even has a lady's name picked out for himself. This teabagging actress is annoying her liberal costars. Another actress traded in her dancer's body for surgically enhanced curves. Oh, there's incestuous threeway orgy too! T.G.I. Blind Items.

This week we brought you excerpts from the gossipy new Oprah biography by Kitty Kelley. Today we heard from an ex-Harpo staffer who shared with us all sorts of juicy details about what life's like working for the daytime diva.

After purging, she didn't want to wear her dinner on the red carpet. This actress' younger man has two Viagra perscriptions and another actress has a devious gay best friend she's trying to "turn." So many ladies, so many mistakes.

Yesterday we shared a bunch of excerpts from Kitty Kelley's gossipy new Oprah biography. Today: Another batch of potentially scandalous snippets from the book, provided you're willing to believe a 68-year-old woman who still goes by "Kitty."

We hear implants and a dirty photo shoot are in Mama Rose's plans. This actress had a photo shoot standing next to her babydaddy's girlfriend. This star doesn't want any pictures taken of his overworked staff. Someone call Annie Leibovitz.

She has snow globes and designer duds stacked to the ceiling. This porn actress needs to get a hip replacement thanks to her heroin problem. This actor is picking up dudes at the gym. Everyone needs a clean up crew.

Just friends or bust friends? America's most respected scandal sheet reports that our nemesis Martha Stewart is trying to horn her way in on Hillary Clinton's man—Bill Clinton, former prez! Martha, you cad, allegedly!