More on our new hero, Richard Simmons: the man that Simmons smacked down at the Phoenix airport was in fact a 23-year-old, 6'1", 255-pound Harley Davidson salesman. After the Harley Davidson salesman mocked Simmons, the fitness guru replied "It's not nice to make fun of people with issues." Hot!
Richard Simmons Slap Assaults Motorcycle Salesman [TSG]
See also: Richard Simmons Takes Flight [NY Mag, 10/27/03]
We have no idea what this bit of gossip means but it certainly sounds entertaining. Says an anonymous blogger:
Wanna work for 20 hours a week — for no payment whatsoever — for Matthew Barney, one of the top-grossing artists in the world? On the plus side, you might have some good Bjork sightings — on the minus side, she might beat you down like that Thai reporter.
Evidently Viacom doesn't want to have to find new geniuses to restaff VH1 in case we get bin Ladened: they're terrorist-proofing their staff this week! The corporate sweethearts are distributing little "go" bags to all employees. In the semi-likely event of a terrorist attack in Manhattan, staffers can grab their own personal silver-striped black messenger bag. Inside? A little facemask (useful probably only against daily subway germ warfare), a tiny bottle of water, and a flashlight/radio. Chic and anxiety-provoking!
Page Six said: "WHICH married superstar athlete just asked a stripper to change her 'professional' name and paid her $20,000 to keep quiet about their relationship?"
You said: "Well I just happen to remember reading that before spring training began, new Yankee superstar Alex Rodriguez was paying regular visits to the VIP strip club on West 20th Street to enjoy lap dances from a certain Brazilian-born beauty." — Kill the Bird.
Page Six said: "WHICH Hollywood oil heir has at least two kinds of herpes? Pals of his starlet girlfriend, concerned with the canker sores on his mouth, don't know the half of it..."
You said: "I guess it's Marvin Davis' son, (whose name escapes me), but this seems so wrong..."
You also said: "I say maybe it's Brendan Davis, who is currently lip-sucking Mischa Barton."
But you also said: "Who is Balthazar Getty dating these days? He's always seemed Herpes-friendly to me."
Page Six said: "WHICH financier birthday boy miscalculated on his St. Patrick's Day party-planning? He thought his older, more prominent guests would be gone before his swishy pretty boys arrived. But several in the earlier crowd were late to leave and met up with them in the hallway."
You said: "My guess is Barry Diller...but this may be a little controversial to say." [Ed. Eh, could be, but this field is a mighty large one...]
You also said: "It's smiley financier Paul Beirne. I've been to his St. Patrick's Day birthday party on CPW several times—the gay one anyway. There were two parties, one for the A-list, one for the gay-list. As I remember, they were on different nights. I didn't realize he was mashing them now. But segregation was hardly a secret— the A-list isn't dumb enough to miss the wall of photographs of him and laughing gay-listers. Paul's discrete, not closeted. And it's so fucking typical of the always wrong and always homophobic Page Six to call his gay friends "swishy pretty boys." One, Paul isn't one for swish. Two, there might be a few "pretty boys," but most of his friends are 40- and 50-something rich fabulons like "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" writer John Berendt, the owners of Kiss My Face Bob MacLeod and Steve Byckiewicz, the former VP of the Metropolitan Ashton Hawkins, and the rest of the donor list of the Empire State Pride Agenda. By the way, the party's always great. So's the apartment. Nice views, good art."
Just Asking [NYP]
Paris Hilton issued a statement this weekend: "Stop paying attention to Courtney Love! I'm supposed to be this country's number one slag! Who does a girl have to suck to keep herself in the limelight?" But of course Courtney beats Paris in the Skanklympics anytime, because Courtney actually, like... does stuff. From the Kurt Loder interview:
Horrible news: It Boy Fabian Basabe is working on a plan for global domination. This is a terribly, terribly, bad thing. Says The Daily:
Something funny about yesterday's now-infamous Martha Stewart letter — what's up with that signature? Compare it to her pretty signature on the Martha Talks website. Which one's the real Martha?
· Ben Affleck says America didn't want him to be with J. Lo because of issues of "race and class." When did Affleck start talking like he'd been molested by Yale professor Harold Bloom? [NYDN]
· Related: Affleck is on a serious Harvey Weinstein ass-kissing rampage after trashing Harv in the tell-all Biskind book. [NYP]
· Irony at work: Nicole Richie tells wicked stepmother Diane to get a job. [NYP]
· Apprentice women turn down quarter-mil from Playboy but happily tear off most of their clothes for free in the much-classier FHM. [NYP]
· Australians are desperate for now-boring Russell Crowe to start behaving badly again; also, Chris Noth is pro-butt (his own). [E!]
· "Jay-Z and Beyonce appear to have split. The rapper must be dreading the reappearance of the tired old "Gay-Z" rumours." [Popbitch]
Dancestar, the annual global dance music awards, has given their Best Celebrity DJ, 2004 award to Paris Hilton. That must be small consolation, as she's certainly not going to win best celebrity BJ anytime soon.
Popfeed weighs in on the death of love between Sean Lennon and Bijou Philips. Turns out Sean was sleeping with every young woman who passed him on Central Park West ... well, every girl who was heir to more than a million bucks, that is.
Celebrity Prep Schools, the repository for stories of the tangled ties of rich kids of all ages, has recently updated. (Now all they need to do is pour the damn thing into a database and make it searchable. Hello? This is possibly the most important living document since the Constitution, treat it as such.) From their entry for Gwyneth Paltrow at Spence:
Diane Richie wants 300K a month in "support payments" from Lionel Richie. Okay, wait: who knew dude was still raking it in like that?
· Hey, really bad news, y'all: they're putting J. Lo on the TV for her own chat show. And she's bringing all her girls from the block with her. [NYP]
· Mel Gibson: Walking on water. Paris Hilton: Falling in water, in today's all-Paris Lloyd Grove special issue. [NYDN and NYDN]
· The run-down on the W magazine employee fashion closet theft haul: chick got away with $15,000 bucks worth of shoes. Good for her! A magazine can't wear shoes anyway. Why shouldn't she have stolen everything that wasn't hot-glued down? [NY Mag]
In case you're wondering where he is when he's not ruining — whoops, running Vanity Fair:
Page Six said: WHICH Broadway hunk lost his chance at being the next James Bond because of rumors he's gay? The movie's producers found out he was a little too close to his male assistant, and were worried about the secret getting out and weakening the Bond machismo...
You said: "Hugh Jackman, this one's easy; he's starring as a gay playboy in "Boy from Oz" and he's the only one hot enough right now to be considered for James Bond... no, John Stamos in "Nine" doesn't count..."
