Okay, or just a refund: Tyra's $200 skin cream gave her "pimples on pimples. The kind of pimples that feel like there is poison underneath your skin. The kind of pimples that feel ALIVE!!!" [Gone Hollywood]
Dina Lohan got fingerbanged under the table at Kobe Steak. We're just trying to help you with your New Year's Resolution to lose weight, ok? [Page Six]
Britney may end up not getting her entire appearance fee from Pure, where she "fell asleep" on New Year's Eve. Which is too bad — she needs to put that money towards a whole new wardrobe, publicist, face, image, and brain. [Gatecrasher]
Our subway hero, whose knit Playboy cap was soiled by the underbelly of a 1 train, will get a new hat and a lifetime subscription to the mag. [R&M, last item]
Britney checked herself into an exclusive retreat in Arizona called 'Sanctuary,' which is totally just a spa. Sigh. Well, at least her pores will be getting clean. [The Scoop]
Yawn: Jessica Simpson and John Mayer trot out their promotional stuntlationship for an encore. Not-yawn: "By the way, John, you might want to have a word with your posse: That party guest your friend asked about buying drugs was a Daily News reporter." [Gatecrasher]
"As Britney keeps losing her identity and credibility within fans and industry people, so is World of Britney," says the webmaster of the popular site, explaining why he's closing its virtual doors forever. We're still in her corner, though, obviously. Classy makeover! Any day now! [TMZ]
Lindsay Lohan celebrated the eve of the birth of Our Lord at Lotus, but she reportedly passed on booze. Spending 3.5 hours sober in the company of Brittny Gastineau? Maybe there's hope for Lohan's recovery yet. [Gatecrasher]
Brad and Angelina spent Christmas helping Colombian refugees in Costa Rica, but failed to return to the U.S. with any additional orphans for their family. [Hot Momma]
On Larry King last night, the Donald classed it up another notch by comparing Rosie's (and, uh, Wikipedia's) "lies" about his finances to the lies that got us into this Iraq war thing we keep hearing about. We didn't post the clip ourselves because we realized that if we posted a clip every time Donald Trump said something hubristic and retarded on national tv, we would just be, like, Trumpster.com. [TMZ]
We know that when we want to convey our most sincerest feelings to the object of our affections, we just cut out and recaption tabloid pictures of ourselves. Stars really are just like us, Paris especially. [MollyGood]
A man who played a KGB agent in The Good Shepard claims that co-star Matt Damon's genius idea of coming up with a code he could mutter if things got too rough saved his life. Gaygaygay. [USWeekly]
