A tipster writes of Regan, "She was constantly muttering about 'Jew agents' in the office and once claimed to staffers that, as a joke, she went through her old apartment building on the Upper West Side, took all the torah scrolls out of the mezzuzahs at the doors and replaced them with torn-up dollar bills." Amaaazing!
In what has to be the world's most expensive excuse for the trailer-trashy tabs to run decade-old photos of the People's Princess, the conclusive report on her death was released yesterday. Maybe your mom cares? [NYT]
We knew it was a bad sign when she hit it off with Proj. Run's Kayne: Miss USA Tara Conner is having some "personal problems" and may need to step down. [TMZ]
We had already convinced ourselves that the white blotch in Paris's nostril wasn't coke — looks like a reflection, doesn't it? But then we read this publicist denial, and were forced to reconsider: "I would imagine [it's] something like whipped cream or a sugary substance from dessert, something that naturally might have found its way onto her face if she touched her nose or whatever. I'd label it a stray dessert." [NYP]
Nicole Richie was going the wrong way on the 134 freeway when she was arrested this morning. Police reports indicate that she was high on Vicodin and pot, but hadn't been drinking, and the booking sheet has her at 5'1''/85 lbs. Okay, okay, we're taking our death pool money off Lohan! [TMZ]
Hanging out (in all senses) with Mother of the Year Britney Spears has taught Paris about the joys of mommyhood — and now she's telling anyone who will listen that she wants to have four babies by the time she's 30, citing her experience 'caring for' her puppies, kittens and kinkajous as relevant to childrearing. Fuck making a joke about this. Here's a joke: Paris Hilton. Hahaha. [The Scoop]
'Member that nasty comment we reported Gwyneth making to a Portuguese newspaper yesterday, about how the Brits are more "civilized and intelligent" than we are? Today, Mrs. Chris Martin defuses our suspicion that she might be a snotty bitch by pointing out that those quotes were taken from a press conference she conducted in Spanish. Oh, you know what, wait — still snotty. [Defamer]
Britney Spears' innocent trip to the LA Zoo was marred by another vagina-flashing incident. (SFW, though telling you that kind of ruins the joke)[Yeeeah]
Remember when Michael 'Kramer' Richards' spokesman tried to pull the old "he can't be an anti-Semite because he's Jewish?" thing? Turns out Richards just "feels" Jewish — his 'rents weren't, and he never converted. Also, he's a Freemason. Stay away from the Ambien, ok, Michael? [R&M]
Britney Spears put the classy makeover on hold until . . . tomorrow! Tomorrow, we're sure of it! by hanging out with Fat Elvis impersonator/oily haired oil heir Brandon Davis. [TMZ]
Just in case you are the one person who hasn't already become intimately familiar with Britney's c-section scar and all the rest, well, here you go. Not. Safe. For. Work. [Drunken Stepfather]
Remember way back like 24 hours ago, when Lindsay Lohan, speaking directly into a paparazzo's videocamera, accused Paris Hilton of beating her with a drink? Apparently, Lindsay doesn't. "Paris never hit me. She's my friend. Everyone lies about everything. ... Please, stop trying to make us hate each other." Cokeheadflameoutsaywha? Maybe this was what Lindsay was getting at with that whole coda about how she's "just trying to act." [R&M, second item]
At the AMAs, gayest gay of life ever Clay Aiken retaliates against the perceived slight he received from homogermophobe Kelly Ripa by gaily having Tori Spelling portray her at the AMAs. Ouch! [YouTube]
Someone on a medical drama has a 'mia problem so bad it discolors her fingers, claims Ben Widdicombe blind item steez. We're going with "all of them but especially Ellen Pompeo." [Gatecrasher, last item]
Giorgio Armani is quoted as saying that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes capped their Italian nuptials with a "never-ending" kiss that prompted some guests to beg them to stop. Well, now we're convinced! [CNN]
